Relationship Smarts: Part 3

green grass

You don’t obtain a good relationship you maintain it.

Grass always looks greener on the other side.  And if you decide to cross over and look closely it’s often not what you expected it to be.

The mind is a funny thing.  A thing that is like a machine that needs constant attention or it can be self-destructive.

The third common denominator found by scientists is the common practice of kindness.

Kindness is one of the key components to making it last and going the distance.  Kindness to most is easy when you are first falling in love or newly married.  But the real test is when the not so glamorous moments of conflict and disagreement arise.

So what’s the bridge to this?

bridge over river

Clean communication pure and simple.

I know it’s not so simple to most of us for many reasons as there are predicaments of the human condition.

In a nutshell, it’s the communication patterns and tendencies we have picked up along the way usually stemming from our caregivers.

Let’s face it we are ALL human.  So if you haven’t ditched the fairy tale of your chosen partner being equally human and not some idealized savor or angel take this as a wake up call to reality.

Learn and continually practice how to express kindness when angry.   So what this means bottom line ABSOLUTELY no manipulating, blame or intentional malicious and hurtful words.  You know the ones I am talking about-the ones that cut like a knife and push the others’ buttons.

zero tolerance sign






Can you imagine a relationship so deep and true where you could express anything without fear of retribution, ridicule or judgment?

Resist the temptation to jump to the conclusion that your partner is out to get you and wants to hurt you.  Stop online casino jolietta taking it so personally and expecting the worse of each other.  If you are not sure break the situation down and pick it apart and truly test out if this is true either on your own when you are NOT angry at all or with a professional.

What this is calling for is:


…if you both are in agreement of approaching it from this way

FORGIVENESS to expect some hiccups and so that you can start anew

     & VULNERABILITY in expression through words


Work from the perspective that most likely the other is really thinking they are doing the right thing for all involved.  And sometimes it is just without tact and poor execution.  Believe in the true power of love again or face the possibility of missing out the experience of a lifetime.













 red rotary phone


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