Relationship Smarts:Part 2
What common factors are present for couples who go the distance?
In continuation of the 3 part blog series Happily Ever After, psychologists have seen some common patterns amongst happy couples.
Part 2: The ability to share Joy with each other
Researchers see this as one if not the most important factor to high quality relationships.
Psychological researcher, Shelly Gable, conducted a 2006 study with adult couples found four distinct ways how attention is shown to each other with the sharing of a joyful event.
1. Passive Destructive- Attention is non-existent outright ignoring the other person whether out of contempt or they just don’t care.
2. Active Destructive- Attention is given but having an overall dampening effect on the good news usually filled with responses of worry and fear.
3. Passive Constructive- Attention is distracted and scattered where one is not fully listening and participating perhaps on the smartphone again.
4. Active Constructive- Attention is full on and matching or surpassing the other with excitement and happiness.
Can you guess which one contributes to creating the most satisfying and high quality relationships?
Being Active Constructive in your attention to your loved one is the most kind and adds great depth to the emotional connection with one another.
Surprised? Confused? Recognize something in yourself or another?
If you are looking to create that deep meaningful relationship that have far greater chances to last a lifetime pay attention to how you pay attention to your loved one- it may make all the difference!
Can you guess the last factor where researchers found in creating a solid relationship foundation? Remember to tune in to my next blog to find out.