Expectations vs. Reality
Expectations can be said to be the root of all suffering. Yet we need them right?
Everyone has a belief on how other people ‘should’ act. And it is no different when dealing with your ex-partner in the divorce process. When you have expectations on how you think your ex-partner should behave on top of whatever caused the divorce, you might have a major reality check or meltdown coming your way.
Coming into acceptance of one another is crucial at this time and will make the transition a whole lot smoother. Keep in mind your ex-partner is a separate person with their own set of experiences. Our minds store all our experiences especially the first ones way back from childhood. From those experiences we either interpret it as an empowering or dis-empowering. Those interpretations become beliefs which often give rise to a particular type of behavior in ourselves and an expectation of others.
I am not advocating for you to allow abuse of any kind and not speak up (respectfully of course). All I am pointing to is to step into their shoes for a moment for the sake of understanding and learning. See this as an opportunity to learn about yourself better and break down expectations for the sake of creating more ease in a potentially turbulent time. Turning a blind eye to your responsibility or completely blaming the other for the conflict will only show up in another relationship pattern.
I challenge you to let go of what you think the other should be and see the soul beneath the personality. Let go of the expectation of perfection for yourself and the other. See the humanness in everyone and in the end have extra money, time and energy for something which brings WAY more JOY & EXCITEMENT into your Life.
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