I need a relationship! I need a man!
What’s the difference between needing and wanting a relationship?
A WORLD of difference!
It is the difference between being a beggar and a chooser!!
Needing a relationship has the undertones of desperation. Desperation usually translates to settling for a partner that does not meet your deal breakers list. (click to find out more on the topic)
When settling, you risk being in a relationship that is not right for you and ultimately not having the staying power because you are not honoring your values. And the longer you stay, the more likely for anxiety, depression,resentment and anger to walk in.
If you want to avoid this situation ask yourself some questions:
1. What is it about a relationship do you think you need? Journal about this. Write down anything that comes up. There is no right or wrong here so DO NOT CENSOR yourself. This is the time to get really honest but not critical with yourself. This is about getting to the bottom of this drive and then supporting yourself to creating what you want.
2. Take a close look at your answers. Be courageous and look deep. Is it because you think this is the only way to be happy? Is this true? Is it fair or realistic to expect another person to complete you somehow? If you don’t know yourself, how to be happy, how can another person?
If you can come to a place where you feel more of wanting a relationship rather than a need, you will find more confidence in yourself during the dating process. Confidence is very attractive. Being a confident single person is knowing that you are worth it. You may find yourself actually really enjoying your time to yourself. And when a potential partner appears, you also just might have second thoughts about getting into a relationship and have to remind yourself this is what you want!
Do you think you need or want a relationship? Tell me about it by commenting below!