Are you too romantic?
Some say romance is a recently created cultural phenomenon. Does the sound of that put you off a bit? If it does you may want to double check on whether your romantic beliefs are based in reality.
The romantic dreamy space is so easy to slip into where you are instantly whisked away to another world than where you are at. It often carries the sense of awe, wonderment, and elation.
Know that there is a defining line when it is helpful for inspiration and motivation and when it is getting in the way to you actually bringing and having a deeply connected love relationship in your life.
Here are some common over romanticizing beliefs to check in on:
1. It’s supposed to be all rainbows and butterflies. Do you have a pattern of bailing or shutting down when the going gets a little rough and uncomfortable? If you do, you may want to look at this more closely.
2. There won’t be disagreements or challenges along the way. When you have been through a divorce, long term relationship or hurtful dating experiences there will be fears, attitudes or beliefs accumulated that are either helpful or just get in the way to what you truly want. What does it take to have the relationship of your dreams?
3. It’s going to be like the Hollywood Romance where we complete each other and are instantly connected and in tune to each other. To expect someone to know exactly what the other needs and wants without communication is not possible. Communication is the key to get the tune just right.
4. If it doesn’t feel like fireworks than it’s not worth my time or even a second look. What this means is sexual compatibility and attraction which can stem from psychological factors. If this is what you only want in a relationship, then go for it. If you want more, than take the time to get to know the person and look deeper before you close the door.
5. I feel unconditional love for this person so it must mean we are meant to be. This type of situation is a bit tricky with many scenarios. I highly recommend you have a list BEFORE you get into dating or a relationship because you may not be looking with the greatest clarity as you become more invested as time goes on. This ensures you are honoring your values and giving yourself the right to have what you want and deserve!
Anything you want is worth taking the time and effort to see it through. Let the romantic feelings be the seeds to inspire you to start to move towards a direction you want in your life. Remember you are bringing two different lives together into some kind of harmony. There is bound to be some things that may be challenging and to figure out.
Do you think romantic love is possible?