Anger Management 101

Extreme anger

Do you still feel steam coming out of your ears when you think about your ex? 

If you answered yes, you may have not completely processed feelings about the relationship.  Unexpressed anger will lead to depression and physical stress.  Divorce anger can be extreme. 

Below are some tips on building in healthy ways to express your anger.

1.  Feel your anger.  It’s ok to feel angry.  Anger is a natural human emotion.  For some this is something that has to be relearned.  Some may have been raised that it is not good to be angry or have seen anger expressed in unhealthy ways and assume to not express it at all is the best course of action.  Remember there is a huge difference with feeling anger and expressing it!

2.  Understand what’s appropriate anger.  Feeling angry does not give you a free ticket to be self-destructive to yourself and others around you.  Know the difference with being emotionally responsible versus emotionally irresponsible.  Often if there is children they become the vehicle to express anger between the parents.  For example one parent may withhold visitation rights if the other parent did not pay child support yet.  This is a destructive unloving act to your children.  And I know that you love your children.

3.  Find positive ways to express the anger.  Some positive ways to express the feelings of anger during divorce are using humor, physical exercise, crying, talking to a trusted person who ONLY listens, and writing.  If you are talking to someone about the divorce and feelings of anger, be clear that you want them to listen only.  There is no benefit to you, for them to fuel the anger as it will create a cycle that may also burn even more brighter.  So find out what mix works best for you and get back to your joy.

By dealing with your anger you are well on the road to creating new beginnings and moving on from divorce.  You will see your part in the break-up of the partnership and maybe even start to communicate on a new level giving you a much better chance in getting you what you want.

What are some positive ways you have found to express anger during divorce?

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    1 Comment

  1. I am very vocal so at times when it feels like too much I drive to a quiet corner and scream at the top of my lungs!

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